1. Even though you know your baby will pee all over the couch if you remove his diaper without something underneath his bottom….you will still leave out the blanket and “chance it.”
2. No matter what your baby looks like – you will swear your baby is cuter than all other babies. You just will.
3. There will be clothing with tags still on them that your baby never even wears.
4. Prior to baby you will proclaim, “I’m not going to let my baby watch TV until he’s 2 because the APA says you should wait.” But one day you will find yourself thinking it’s adorable that your 3 month old is captivated by the baseball game on TV.
5. You may have never cried while receiving a shot yourself, but when you see your little baby getting a shot in his little meaty leg you will sob.
6. Babies must have socks on. At all times. It may be 72 in the house and your baby may not have even the slightest hint of a cold but THE BABY MUST WEAR SOCKS.
7. As a lactating mother you will leak milk in your bed during the night…and you will still wait until the weekend to wash the sheets. Sorry folks, but it’s true.
8. On that note…The La Leche League conveniently leaves out of their leaflets on pro-breastfeeding that pumping three times at work, driving a half hour at the end of the day to daycare to rush home to breastfeed, make dinner, do laundry, breastfeed again, bathe baby, breastfeed again and put him to bed….will leave you beyond exhausted and highly emotional.
9. You will routinely find yourself sniffing your baby. His hair, his face, his ears, you name it…There is nothing like the smell of your own baby.
10. In times of desperation when baby is wailing and you are fifteen minutes from home…You may find yourself leaning over the baby’s car seat to feed him some milk while your husband drives with a huge grin on his face.
11. Every sound, movement or flutter in the wind on the baby monitor will instantly make you panic. You may insist your husband get out of the bed to go put his hand on the baby’s back to make sure he’s still breathing.
12. No matter how Type A or prepared of a person you think you are….when you have a baby you will routinely leave diapers, wipes, clothes, toys, etc. at home and not in the diaper bag.
13. You will routinely tell your baby that you want to eat him. I don’t know why but you do.
14. Because your baby is so magical and adorable in your eyes you will find yourself thinking, “I would love to have five more just like him.” Your husband will quickly bring you back to reality.
15. Every moment, every experience, every hour of the day is ten times more important and meaningful since your baby came into the world. It is unexplainable.