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Dear William,

For a while I was really pushing for you to walk because you had been “cruising” for so long, and it seemed to me that you were really ready but just weren’t confidant enough to go for it. Everyone told me that I would regret wishing for you to walk. They said I would look back fondly on the days you were only crawling. Well, they were partially right. I do miss the days of not having to constantly chase you and guide you to keep you from imminent danger – stairs, low-lying objects, unlocked cabinets, Daddy’s guitars/amps/cables/wires/plugs/shiny metal objects…but I love watching you explore. I love how resilient you are. You will go from a walk to a run in a few seconds flat and then promptly land on your butt or fall face first. You just stand up, shake it off and keep going! I often think that surely you will start crying from scraping your knees or bonking your head on the wall but you don’t. You just keep going.

Lately you have been in a “Mommy” phase and I’ve really been soaking it in. I know it’s just that…a phase…and the time will pass when you will just want your Daddy. For the first 11 months of your life it was your daddy who would rock you to sleep at night. I always felt like he should get that time with you since I got to have the special bonding time of breastfeeding you (not to mention carrying you for 9 months and birthing you!) I wanted you two to develop your own special bonding time. Now you only want me to put you to sleep when given the choice and I’m relishing these moments with you. Some nights I know you are out within a couple minutes of rocking but I hold on to you for another 15 minutes because I can feel and see you turning into a big boy and before long you won’t want to be rocked at night.

We’ve started working with you on your words more. You’ve started just in the last few days saying “MAMAMAMAMAMA” but not necessarily to me. You very clearly know that I’m “Mama” but you like to just say it to the air when you are feeling upset or frustrated. Sometimes I’m not so sure that you see a distinction between calling me Mama and calling your binky Mama. We do both provide comfort so I’ll take it.

We only have three more months before our time as a family of three will change forever. I am excited to see how you react to a baby and also nervous that you will have to share some of the attention. Life is about to change in a big way for all of us but I can only see an abundance of laughter and cuddles coming our way.

I love you my sweet, sweet boy.

Mama

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