photoDear William,

Today marks 15 months you have blessed our lives. I honestly can’t remember life before you. I’m sure we went out more, stayed up later, blew more money and planned more vacations…but I can’t remember how I felt before you. It seems that I spent many years caught up in emotional highs and lows. I was often a slave to my anxiety. I can’t tell you that I’m no longer anxious…I mean we are about to have another baby in our family not long after having you. But I can tell you that I feel centered and at peace in a way that I couldn’t imagine before you. You are the calm in my storm these days. When I start to get antsy about the future or I start to feel overwhelmed about how we will be a family of four in eight weeks (!!!) I look at you or kiss you or snuggle with you and everything feels in place.

You are increasingly verbal when you aren’t crying for your “ne ne” (Binky). You love to point out “Dog Dog” which has come to stand for any animal though you are most excited at the sight of dogs. You love to feed Roxie her treats as well as go in for an open-mouthed kiss when we aren’t looking. Thankfully Roxie isn’t completely sure about your kisses but she will gladly take any food out of your hand ever so gently. Our morning snuggles have started to evolve as you have figured out how to slide off the bed and go find Daddy while he’s getting ready. You sign “more” when you love whatever we are feeding you – even if there is already more on your plate. I’m forever surprised by the foods you try and love – kalamata olives, pickles, any kind of sauce…You love to read books and are finally able to sit still long enough to saddle into one of our laps and bring your book to read. You love to do the motions for itsy-bitsy spider and patty-cake. Dancing is your favorite activity and you will instantly run to the record player and start shaking your butt and twisting your arms when we put on a record. You have ridiculous rhythm for a toddler. You hate to ride in the car, ride in a buggy (unless it’s the car kind) or sit in a stroller. You have to be moving!

You are very sensitive. When I hurt my finger the other night cooking and I sat in the floor to nurse my wound while your Daddy got a bandage you came and sat in my lap and laid your head in my chest. It was obvious you knew that I was upset and you were comforting me. It’s always the days that are long or hard that you are most snuggly with me. You still give kisses but most of the time the only way I can get you to give me one on command is when you see me kiss your Daddy. Then instantly you want to give one!

Sweet, sweet William – you have added spark and energy to my life and a renewed sense of what’s important and beautiful. I am so thankful for you.

I love you always.