This blog was something that started with a great amount of passion. I was newly pregnant with William and everything was a “first.” Not that things haven’t been equally thrilling with Noah, but they are indeed different. The game has changed a bit. We have little time between work and spending the few hours we get with the boys in the evening. Lunch at work now means working while eating so time for blogging is sparse. I hate to abandon this medium which documents my children’s lives so well.
So, I’m back with very little update other than to say my children are growing and thriving and surprising me every day. You think you can not possibly love your children any more than you do, and then the next day that love grows even more. It’s astounding to me how much love we can hold for these little people, especially when one of them starts hitting the terrible three’s and starts telling you, “Don’t say that to me” or “Don’t beg me” while pointing a finger in your face. I’m not a great disciplinarian. It’s not my style. I consistently remind myself that he’s learning emotions and how to understand and regulate them. I also remind myself that much like him, when I am hungry, tired, sad, or feeling sensitive I can act out and say things I don’t really mean. I have found the most effective method of parenting for my family to be scooping him up in my arms in that moment and just hugging him real tight. It always works for us.
I know times are different. I know most of us were raised in houses where spanking was acceptable. We were raised by parents who picked their own switches from the trees in their front yard. They believe wholeheartedly that a good smack on the hand or the bottom is the solution to a child who back-talks, throws a tantrum or says something out of line. I don’t subscribe to that method of parenting but I don’t judge those who do. Every family has to do what is right for them. It’s the same with all of the other debates happening out there (aka ‘The Mommy Wars’) and I don’t buy into those. Your family is your family and you have to do what works for you.
All of this to say – we are reaching a stage in toddler-hood that I’m having to learn day by day. And what I am learning is that my 2 year old responds most positively to a dose of affection and calm communication more than anything. And I always get an apology, usually one that is unprompted. I’m not saying there aren’t times where he drives me to being mad because of the way he speaks ugly to me or points his finger at me and hisses. But for the most part, I find it rather comical. He’s just learning how to live in this world with emotions and sensitivities and people who tell him what to do, all while he is learning to be independent and head-strong. That’s a tall order for any of us.
On the flip side, Noah is “all boy” as my mother puts it. He is climbing every surface, taking bruises like a champ and trying desperately to hang with his big brother. He is fiercely independent when he wants something, but he is one of the cuddliest babies I’ve ever known. In one minute he can be knocking over a pail of blocks and the next climbing up to nestle in your chest. He is finally starting to say just a few words but the amount of language he fully understands and responds to with a shake of his head “yes” or “no” tells me he is just waiting until he’s good and ready to talk. I’m learning to be patient and let him grow at his own pace.
And now for the best part of these loves of my life: