William’s Aunt Dillon (my younger sister) came over and we went in search of a bucket swing so William could try it out. We had no luck but we did have a good time putting him in and on all the other playground toys.
There is something really special about an Aunt or Uncle. Brandon has no siblings so William’s only relationships of that nature will be my two sisters. Aunt Dillon lives in town, and William has a ball laughing and playing with her. He gets really excited whenever he sees her. I’m pretty sure he knows she will pull out a goofy face or two for him.
Aunt Whitney lives in California so he hasn’t had the chance to meet her yet but fingers crossed it will happen before he turns one. For now we send her lot’s of pictures and videos so she can watch his progress.
I fear that I spend more time writing letters to you in my head than actually putting the thoughts down.
Life has certainly changed for us in the last month. The company I worked for shut down and I lost my job January 2nd. I let you finish the week out in daycare while I got my bearings and figured out what it would mean. The following Monday you started to stay at home with me all day. At first, we struggled to find our routine. I had grown accustomed to my daily rituals at the office and the anticipation of picking you up each evening. You were used to a room full of babies, two to three ladies taking turns with you and solid meal and nap times. You have also been in the throes of some serious teething which I feel certain hasn’t helped either one of us find a daily pattern.
This past week, however, has been different for us. I’m learning to “let go” of the idea that doing more than taking care of you is a necessity. I have to teach myself that the dishes can wait, the laundry will still be there and our house doesn’t have to look “perfect” every day. I’m learning how to live “in the moment” with you and to relish each new discovery you make.
To have all of this one-on-one time with you is a gift. Granted, it’s a gift that came in a way that made life harder for us in certain areas. But, it is indeed a gift. You are crossing milestones and I’m lucky enough to see them as they happen. You are becoming a fast snake crawler. (You wriggle your body across the floor so fast but only using your legs. You haven’t quite put the elbow up on the floor together part yet). You enjoy music in a way that just makes me grin from the inside out. In the morning we listen to the radio or a record while you eat breakfast. You pay close attention to the sounds and often get distracted from eating. When we are playing you are always drawn to this musical turtles that plays different instruments. You love to play with your father’s ukulele and will seek it out from across the room.
This is a time of great stress for our family because of the unknown. But I can say without a doubt, that even in the moments where our future is so unclear – when I feel like I’m carrying a great load of burden – I am so in awe of this love that I have for you. Each day you teach me to be a little more patient with the world – and myself. And I know that when this time has passed I will ache for these days with you.
You are so very loved and treasured, my sweet boy.
I love you.
Here we are at six months. This photograph required some serious wrangling. William is no longer the passive baby who will lie flat on his back while I snap 30 pictures. This go round he was pulling at the sticker, reaching for toys and rolling from front to back to front. After many unsuccessful attempts at the “normal” picture, I realized it made the most sense to just let him be on his stomach. These days, as he is navigating the exciting world of learning to crawl, he is more agreeable when able to make a move. And so my little baby starts to be not such a little baby anymore.
I won’t bore you with the familiar rants of how my baby is growing up and how time is passing so quickly. I will tell you that every day I am more in awe of this little person growing right in front of me. His personality has really come to surface and he is many of the beautiful things of his parents and many of the infuriating. As his godmother and my best friend so eloquently put it, “He is SASSY like his parents.” It’s true. This child lets you know exactly what he wants when he wants it. Lately, he has been letting us know in no uncertain terms that he does not want to go to sleep at the bedtime we have selected. You can walk him from the darkness of his bedroom to the light of the hallway and his crying will turn off and on like a switch. And temper. Oh, my boy has a temper. Sometimes when I’m playing with him or just watching him, I can so clearly see what type of little boy he will be. He is spirited, hilarious, stubborn and smart. He will keep us on our toes at every turn and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
As a family of three, we are really settling into a finely tuned rhythm. We are now at the stage where we can go to Legend on a Saturday afternoon for lunch and drinks. William is perfectly content to ride along for grocery store trips and Christmas shopping.
Our evenings are down to a perfect science. We nurse before dinner, William gets a couple of spoons of food (so far we have tried rice cereal – which Brandon said tastes like cardboard – and sweet potatoes). William plays in his bouncy seat while we make dinner. We eat our food while William plays in his exersaucer or rests in my arms. Between 8 and 8:30 we give William his bath. He giggles and coos while we wash him. The three of us are usually laughing or singing silly songs. William then gets a nighttime bottle and is in Brandon’s arms being rocked by 9. Our sweet boy sleeps through the night until 6 or 6:30.
The days of colic feel like a distant memory to me now. I think those long days and nights of crying, and an inconsolable baby, were just the price to pay for the days we have now.
I can no longer remember our life together before William. I can’t imagine what we did with our evenings or what kept us entertained and laughing. William is a source of joy in my life that I could not have imagined. I just want to time to stand still for a moment so I can stand here and drink this all in.